Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Hawaii Five-O Recap and Review: Where the Team Gets Kidnapped Again

Remember a few weeks back when Danny and Steve were in the jungle and were walking around arguing and got kidnapped? Yeah, they won't be teaching any seminars about "Jungle Missions: How Not to Get Caught" anytime soon, since they get caught again this week.

We start off with a couple on a sinking ship calling Mayday. A cutter comes toward them and neatly pulls next to them so they can board, even though it's extremely stormy. Oddly, there is no one steering the ship or apparently anywhere on it. They start to search and find the crew all shot dead. (My question is, how did the ship steer perfectly to them and pull up at just the right angle so the couple could board? Ghost ship? Coincidence? H50 universe? You decide.)

We shift scene to Dr. Kohashi's office where Steve is waiting shirtless for the doctor while Danny pokes around in the drawers. He takes out an otoscope and says he's always wanted to do this and examines Steve's eardrums. (Was that on his retirement bucket list? So strange.) Danny makes a joke about being able to see Steve's pea brain and thankfully the doctor comes in. Steve asks Danny to wait outside, but the doctor says this will be quick so Danny stays. (Why is he there in the first place?) The doctor says that Steve's recovery has been slower than expected, but he can start doing cardio and light weights. Danny starts asking a lot of questions, and tells the doctor that Steve was exposed to uranium, but used a car battery to cover his vitals. Steve utters the word stupid and it made me laugh. Did he think the car battery thing was stupid? Was he referring to Danny telling the doctor? Was that an ad-lib? I guess we'll never truly know.

We cut to the B story of Grover and his son going to Chicago for male bonding time while he testifies against his friend Clay. His son is mocking him over using the word vacay, Grover threatens to take away his license. He also says Will can't text Grace for three days. Harsh. (Will and Grace. Anyone else think of that TV show with the same name?)

Back to the A story where everyone is at the Chatting Table talking about a trawler entering U.S. waters so the GhostShip cutter engaged. They were surprised (ya think?) and overpowered since the crew was all killed. Authorities got a slug match, though, and traced it back to a Yakuza family. Michelle Shioma! (Yay! They really need a believable baddie on this show since they got rid of Wo Fat.) The team tracks the trawler to a supposedly deserted beach and see movement on satellite images, so they head there. With Steve flying the helo! Steve is giving updates about what will happen when they land and Danny apparently doesn't know what "klicks" are, but everyone else on the team does. Teacher's pets! (Trivia: the U.S. military uses klicks (which means kilometers) so they can communicate with other allied forces, because most other first world countries use the metric system). The team lands and put their vests on as they start to creep inland from the beach. (Side note: Steve is wearing a very nice long-sleeved blue shirt that looks great with his eyes. Thank you wardrobe people!)

Back to the Chicago Hilton where Grover is congratulating them on using carry-on luggage and getting to the hotel quickly. He wants to hit a bunch of Chicago restaurants, but Will says his mom told him not to let Grover go crazy. Grover is all, "what happens in Chicago stays in Chicago." There's a knock at the door and Officer Bennett has been assigned to sit on Grover. He doesn't want a babysitter, but apparently Chicago PD is concerned for Grover's well-being. They sound so nice, don't they? Nope. Officer Bennett is angry that Grover broke the code and turned Clay in. (Do they know he tied Clay up and trashed his house?) Grover gives him a summary of what happened with how Clay allegedly killed his wife, stole drug money, and sent killers after Grover and his family. He doesn't care what Bennett thinks. Bennett gives him the death glare. The guy has a really good glare!

The team is walking through the jungle and come upon several people hung in the trees, dead, and gutted. It's gross. They all stop to stare in horror/disgust, and apparently no one is keeping a lookout or thinking about security as Steve starts to take pictures. Before you know it, a flashbang has gone off, the comms are out, and the team is captured. JungleMissionTip: Always have a lookout. Don't get distracted.

The captors cut down the gutted bodies and tie up the team using the ropes. Also, everyone gets their own dead body to drag behind them. Equal opportunity killers! Danny Downer says that they're going to kill us. (How many times has he said that to Steve and how many times has Steve come through? Seriously. Maybe just once he could say, welp, we've gotten out of worse situations. We'll be okay!)

Jerry brings Noelani in on the circle of trust and tells her about the SuperSecretJungleMission. She wants to call Duke in, but Jerry isn't sure since Shioma probably had someone on the inside of HPD. But Duke is ohana, she reminds him. Just call the man!

Steve is wearing ID on his vest that clearly identifies him as the commander of H50. Second tip for SuperSecretJungleMissions, don't wear ID. The head captor looks a little like a poor man's Daniel Day Lewis in Last of the Mohicans. He tells McG that Michelle Shioma is the skeleton at the end of the rope he's dragging. Ew. Thankfully, PoorMansDanielDayLewis has a large cage in the middle of the jungle that's big enough for Chin, Danny, Kono, and Steve, so he puts them in there. The bad guys are going to pack up since their SuperSecretJungleSpot is burned now. Danny is reminding Steve that no one in HPD knows they're there and hopes that Steve can pick a lock. Steve lies and says he can't, (we've seen him do it!) Maybe he has a secret love for the jungle. Or cages. Or just being together on a mission with the team. Awww. Whatever the reason, he claims to be a soldier not Houdini. Riiiight.

Grover took Will to George's, a pizza joint where he used to hang out with his cop buddies. Richie DeSanto comes in, a guy that used to coach Will in Little League. Grover goes over to talk to him, but the guy is really mean and tells Grover he shouldn't be there and just get some pizza delivery. Grover has no friends in Chicago. Sad face!

Back in our JunglePrison, the bad guys are almost done striking the camp and Steve comes up with a plan. He offers PoorMansDanielDayLewis $20 million dollars that Michelle Shioma supposedly left hidden and trade it for his team. PMDDL is considering it until Michelle Shioma shows up and awkwardly says, "You look like you've seen a ghost."  They push McG to the ground (and you know how he hates that), so he throws dirt at the four men with guns behind him and starts beating on them (he almost wins! If only he could have gotten a gun) while Michelle and her goon stand by and watch. They eventually overpower him, though, and rough him up a bit. He gets thrown back in the cage and holds up a bullet that he got. Danny isn't impressed and tells him to go back out there and get beaten again so he can get a gun. (Wow. Maybe Danny should volunteer to help get them out. Usually if you're complaining, you need a job to do.)

Grover is getting ready for court and Will asks him if he's nervous since he didn't sleep that night. Grover reassures him and goes out to talk to Officer Bennett about what his kid has already been through and how Bennett is going to stay and watch over Will because if anything happens to him, he'll rain down on Chicago PD. Then he thanks the officer and walks away. (At least he's polite about it!)

Jerry finally brings Duke in and summarizes the situation, ending with he thinks the team is in trouble. Duke says he's got guys he can trust and they better go get their friends out.

Steve rigs the gunpowder from the bullet to the lock and blows it. They're all beating people and getting guns so they can have a nice gunfight on the beach. Here's another SuperSecretJungleMissionTip though: You don't have unlimited shots. Save your ammo, or at least be accurate. The team does not know this, however, and run out of ammo. It's not looking good, but Duke and the cavalry show up in the nick of time and rescue them. McG thanks them, but they give credit to Jerry who is worried because he disobeyed orders. (Steve pretty much wastes his breath giving orders, though, and it's like standard operating procedure to disobey them. Jerry has nothing to worry about!)

McG gets Michelle Shioma in the Blue Room of Doom and tells her she's smarter than her father since she was operating under their noses for a year. He realizes she was going to cut a deal with the D.A., but he's going to do everything he can to stop that. She doesn't seem to care until he mentions that her daughters, and the family they are living with, are eager to cooperate. She just sort of sits there, stunned, and it was a bit anti-climactic. I was hoping for more from her! She had a lot of potential as a baddie. Off to prison she goes, I guess.

Jerry walks into his office where there's a Five-O badge waiting for him. The team walks in and are excited that he's getting one. He tries to put it on and sticks himself so Chin has to help him. (Isn't that a metaphor for the character of Jerry?) *shakes head*

Grover is done testifying and goes to George's to look at pictures on the wall of him and Clay and their police buddies. George comes and tells him to leave, and Grover stares at the picture a while longer then heads out. Will has extra room service for him and tells him he's proud of him. A cute/father son scene and showing who and what are really important.

Next week's promo looks good with a bank robbery and explosions.

What did you think? Did you watch?

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